I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile now. It’s been brewing but I wasn’t sure if it was just a passing a mood or if I really felt this way. Could it be true that I’ve actually grown bored of sewing and blogging about sewing and reading blogs about sewing?
And how did my Me Made May go this year? About halfway in I gave up, grabbing my old trusty black T shirt and jeans. Because the handmade ones give me love handles anyway, and I feel ridiculous getting myself all dolled up and taking selfies of myself with my tripod in my bedroom. And ridiculous for actually caring how many likes and new followers those selfies got me on Instagram.
Sew a new thing every week, post it on my blog and wait for comments and pins. Will sew for free fabric! Why does the validation of strangers, well a few I know, and some I’ve met in person thanks to this blogg, make me feel like my work has more value? Would I have sewn so much if I wasn’t getting the ego massages of a readership?
I honestly feel that blogging and social media is actually creating a culture of narcissists, and I’m sure I was becoming one, too.
And why did I feel so depressed when I wrote an offensive post that earned me a hate thread on GOMI? Did I even know any of those people anyway? I’m pretty sure I deserved that thread at the time, as I was starting to take myself way too seriously. Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself as others might. True or not.
And what about the state of sewing blogs? Another blog post gushing over some boxy and design free t shirt pattern or fan girls gushing over another dartless rectangle. Sometimes sewing blogs feel like “The emperor has no clothes”. It seems every new sewist who has been at it for five minutes is starting up a pattern line and promoting it. More power to them. If the market will bear it, they have every right to. As one sewing blogger I know told me once,” FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!”
Some of my favorite and hardest projects were the least well received and then some of the easiest and dumbest projects like a crappy DIY dolman tee shirt or a crooked potholder were pinned thousands of times. It makes no sense at all.
I don’t have a pattern line and I’m not selling anything. What seemed to start off as a reaction against fast fashion and consumer culture has itself turned into just another avenue for monetization and corporate sponsorships. If you really want to make an impact on fast fashion all you need to do is shop at the thrift shop!
I’m sorry I seem bitter about it all. It really was fun and positive for a long time, but everything must have an end. And when you start feeling bitter about something, it’s time to either end it or take a long break away from it. People don’t want to read bitter, do they?
What I do know is that right now I need a break from sewing and sewing blogging and social media in general. I have a garden I’d like to spend more time in, camping trips to take, a birthday to party to plan for Gigi who is turning seven next week and has grown up on this blog, and a house that needs some sprucing up. As well as animals that need bathing on a regular basis!
All those earlier excuses and gripes aside, the truth is I may have lost my sewing mojo.
It seems ironic that just as I created my new sewing studio I should lose interest in sewing.
On the bright side, it will make a great craft room, and I hope to spend more time in there with my girls creating things together, instead of being hunched over my sewing machine, not interacting with anyone else.
I’ll still sew when the urge strikes, but I want to give myself some time off and take away the feeling of pressure that I have now when I think about sewing. I’d like to see if I really do love sewing in and of itself. Without having to post my projects to the scrutiny of social media. And of course there’s that wedding dress project I still need to finish!
We all care what people think of us. We all want to feel accepted. We all want to feel liked. Social media multiplies those thoughts and feelings without us even realizing it. It’s not healthy to always be under the knife of criticism. In a digital world we need a break from having our lives judged and commented on.
Recently I bought several things from my Land’s End catalog. When I got them in the mail I felt a little guilty because I know I could have sewed them instead of buying them, but guess what? They fit, they looked good on me, and I was done! No fitting issues, no photos to take and no agonizing over my perceived ‘ lack of engagement’. So simple. Not sew simple! Just so simple.
But I have met some really nice people and created some nice friendships from the blog so for that I am grateful.
Thanks for reading everyone!